Discouraged

Jesus, help. I can't make it on my own. Remind me of how you restored your prophet Elijah, who in his discouragment you restored his strength.

Unfaithful

The smell of stale cigarettes filled the house when she came home. It was late and the scent turned his stomach, not because of the smell of cigarettes but because it pointed to something else. He wondered if she saw the tears fill his eyes when they embraced; but she didn’t. In fact, she was too drunk to notice much of anything.
“Where have you been?” He tried to disguise his broken voice by clearing his throat immediately after the question. The question didn’t need to be asked, except to make clear that he knew.
“Out…I don’t feel up to talking about this right now. I need to go to bed.” Her syllables were slurred and words flowed into each other seamlessly indicating that she would most likely barely remember coming home at all. She was cold and distant.
“I was worried when you didn’t come home.”
She ignored him and walked passed him into the bedroom and landed in the soft bed, falling into a deep sleep.
The next morning he awoke to soft, but faint crying coming from inside the living room. He walked over to where she was and stood beside her and asked, “Why are you crying?”
The crying became harder. She looked up at him and said, “I have been unfaithful to you.”
He grabbed her and pulled him closer to himself embracing her said, “I know.” And she cried harder still into his chest. “I love you. We will get through this.”
The next few days were tense and awkward for her. Even though they were trying to let go of the past together, she felt guilt and shame. Nothing seemed to help. A few weeks went by and the feeling of guilt was replaced by a longing to be with her lover. She fought it off for awhile, until the day that she got the phone call. The words through the receiver came through and pierced her heart.
“I missed you. When can I see you again?”
“Tonight.” She said.
So he sat there in the living room. The hours passed by with each minute in anticipation for his wife to come home. Until at last the door opened and she came home and fell on her knees cried out for her husband. He came close to her and fell by her side, kissed her cheeks and whipped the tears from her eyes.
“I am sorry…I”
“I know. I still love you, church”

How to Begin a Story

He sat there. Pen in paper in hand. Emotion swept over him as he placed the pen to paper. Stopping for a moment, he wept. As the tears fell down his face he began to remember the good times and the hard times. Hanging there suspended in space, the memories of the past became present to him. His friends that were scattered all around the world; his best friend that was now gone; life, death and everything in between. His heart longed to write this story so that everyone could understand. The tears dripped down his face, falling gently onto the paper. How do you start to write a love story? Pressing the pen to paper he wrote, “In the beginning was the Word.”

Breathe in+out

You love me…
I love you…
It is as simple as breathing to except that God loves you (To inhale) and that you love God (Exhale). This morning I had a moment where I was able to be at rest in God’s embrace. I lay down and listened to the Voice which penetrated my in most being. The word that came sweeping over me as I breathed was love. Over the last several days I have been processing the disciplines of my faith. Disciplines are a funny thing. They can either lead to life or death. Death, when disciplines are without love and life when love is the principle. When we try to force a discipline in order to get something, we start in the wrong place. Paul writes about this when he says if I have not love I am nothing. But to start with love, you find yourself doing weird things. I think about a husband and wife, who when he tries to force a “Date night” (lol) but hasn’t really given himself over to loving her; becomes meaningless, another night with an obligation. However, when he gives himself over to embrace her love; when he remembers how beautiful she looked the day of their wedding when his bride came down the aisle, or when he thinks about what he felt in the moment when he got down on his knees and begged for her to accept him into her life, that is when life is brought back into one night set to celebrating a discipline of embracing love. So we start with embracing love. Why do we love? The apostle John answers with because he first loved us (Breathe in). Starting with embracing love that Jesus has for us is good, but how does it flesh itself out? For me, I am finding that practicing what I receive from God is the way in which to bring life to my everyday. I mean, if we are lovers of God, then shouldn’t we love God back? We take this same scenario of the husband and wife. Is it enough for the husband to say to his wife that he loves her but doesn’t do anything to spend time with her? She longs to have her husband relish in the joy of their marriage and celebrate their love together. Carving out a time to celebrate that would be for her and him a discipline that leads to life. I am finding truth that looks a lot like a “Date night” with God. Except it isn’t/is a night. It is taking my present state and consciously thinking about Him. Breathe…to take it in. Let it fill your lungs to capacity to the point where it stings a bit. Exhale…letting go. Releasing the love that is overflowing and letting it all go. It is as simple as breathing…

A Parable on Holiness

On the wall at the local coffee shop bulletin board was a poster, among about a hundred others, which read:
Jesus: Myth or Man
Come to a discussion at Kells
7:30 pm Wednesday nights.
Franklin was in awe that someone, whoever it was, decided to host a discussion about Jesus. For him, it felt like there was hope and that maybe there was a Christian influence in the city. He was warned before he left home by everyone, it seemed, to stay away from sin and find a good local church and get involved. But finding a faith community was becoming harder and harder to do. For him, he felt like the area was full of stuffy churches that were either traditional or else seemed to be a “haven” away from the culture. He didn’t like either option. This was San Francisco and by moving here he knew this would be different than anything he knew from growing up in the Southeast.
Franklin decided to go and he asked his two roommates to attend with him. All three left the house about 7:00 and by 7:20 were completely lost. “Have you ever been to Kell’s, Franklin?” Rob asked.
“No but I pulled directions from online so I didn’t think it would be this hard to find.”
“Wait there it is! Kell’s Pub? I thought we were going to a coffee shop, Frank.” Mike said from the backseat.
Franklin got a lump in his throat and just acted like he didn’t hear him.
“This will be interesting I guess.” Rob said.
The three walked in to the bar and searched for the group that was to meet. They asked the bartender if there was a group that was meeting and he pointed to the back of the room where there was a few couches and said, “The Jesus Group meets back there.” There was one guy sitting reading a book with a long beard circle glasses and long thin blonde hair. Franklin thought he looked like a cross between a hippie and Harry Potter. The man closed his book and looked up.
“My name is William. Are you here for the conversation?”
“If by conversation you mean The Jesus Group then yes.” Franklin said. They all laughed and exchanged names with William. William talked with them and it turned out that they had a lot in common. William grew up in the South and moved to San Francisco to be a youth pastor. After several years of working in the ministry, William had enough. He retold his feelings about how he lost sight of Jesus while he was busying himself with ministry. William said that he started a discussion group about Jesus to save his faith from reckless abandonment. 7:45 rolled around and another group of people came into the bar and joined the conversation. By 8:00 William spoke up and asked the question, “Who is Jesus?” The group that was all talking before in sub-groups was suddenly joining with each other to participate in sharing their point of views and discus the things that they have learned. For the most part Franklin, Rob, and Mike were silent. They sat back and watched as people discussed what they thought of Jesus. For each person, their seemed like a different view. It was 10:00 when people started to leave. By about 11:00 pm the three roommates walked out of the bar drenched in the smell of cigarettes. The three guys walked silently to the car and started to leave Kell’s Pub. Franklin was the first to speak.
“I really like William. It is so refreshing to know there are Christians out there that are engaging the culture.”
Mike sighed and said,”It was interesting. I guess I don’t understand why they meet at a bar.”
By that Rob spoke up and chimed in,” Yeah! I really was uncomfortable with how many people claimed to be Christian but smoked and drank that way. Some of those views seemed really far off.”
Franklin drove in silence as the two roomates talked about how aweful the evening was critisizing everything that was said.
Franklin, Rob, and Mike never returned to Kell’s Pub to meet with the Jesus Group, as was known by the bar’s patrons. In fact, after several more failed attempts to find a good church, Franklin decided that organized religion was a waste of time. Rob went on to become a pastor of Evangelism back South at his home church and no one ever heard from Mike again.
What does holiness look like?

Test

Test

Living vs Believing

So where to begin after such a long time of absense from blogging? I am not sure. The last several months have brought many interesting things. Lessons to be learned, people who have inspired me, despair, joy, abundance, brokeness etc. I can’t really retell all the stories that I have. So coming from a long hietus of writing, I begin with this.
A very basic question, and yet very profound is what does it look like to be a Christ follower? A couple of weeks ago I read Dan Kimball’s “They Like Jesus but Not the Church”. In case it isn’t obvious from the title, the book is generally about those who are on the outside of the church and their views on Christianity. Like it or not, from most people’s perspective the church sucks. For me, it is pretty easy to judge the church and to be cynical towards her after spending most of my life within her walls. So you can imagine that throughout most of the quotations written or spoken by these outsiders, I was giving a hearty “Amen” like the old Baptist roots from whince I came. Perhaps you have heard the old saying spoken by St Augustine that states, “The church is a whore and I am her child.” I understand that Christians do a pretty bad job at representing Christ. In fact, I think that most people would say that. Take a look at the social networking sites like Facebook or Myspace and look at the religion section. I dare say that even those who are regular attenders of churches all around the US would have something like, “Christ follower” or “I love Jesus” and they would probably try to stay away from the term, “Christian”. I think we as postmoderns are finding out that our faith is less about a statement and more about a man. I am not sure if that is recognized by all who stay away from using this term, but I do think that there is some type of universal understanding by these people that they would rather identify with Jesus the man. Brian Mclaren expounds upon this in his book, “Finding Our Way Again”. The question that was posed to him by Dr Peter Senge was, “Why are books on Budhism more popular than books on Christianity?” Mclaren said that he had no idea how to answer him so he said that he just asked, “How would you answer that question?” Dr Senge went on to explain that Budhism offers a way of life rather than a system of belief.
There is a tension however within me. Although the church is not being the kind of bride she sould be, Jesus is still jealous for her love. It really doesn’t work when we are continually slandering and remaining cynical towards the church and try to pursue Jesus. The two intersect with one another. As much as we would like to start from scratch and move on beyond the Crusades, Racism, homophobia, and Christian consumerism we confess our sins and remain the church. Afterall, the church at its very definition is people.
So church, don’t despair. It is now more than ever that we apologize and life a disciplined life that honors Christ. We repent for all the injustices rendered and in that repentence we turn away from our sin and turn towards righteous living. Justin writes in the first century “Those who are not found living as Christ tought should know that they are really not Christians, even if his teachings are on their lips.” Are you more comfortable with living a life that is filled with a “System of belief” or a “Lifestyle of Worship”? How are we living?

Excellence

They say they need entertainment,

They want excellence and to be professional,

They tell me that they want clean and pristine,

How are they drawn to the church unless it bears quality?

I pay for lights, fog machines, and video clips,

I work every day spending hours honing my skills,

I make the service flow with no dead space,

How am I affected by the cross?

You were the entertainment for them on the cross,

You were not professional but professing love,

You were worn, beaten, and spit upon,

How we have forgotten you in the midst of excellence!

Hear our cry, oh Lord and lead us to the beautiful mess!

The Ancient Future

Over the last several days, my writing efforts have been directed towards a book that I am writing dealing with the actions of the church. I am extremely excited about this endeavor and look forward to learning a lot. Without divulging too much info, the story will be a merge of my story along with the knowledge that is out there. I want a book that is true to itself and doesn't attempt to pretend that there is an unbiased nature to it. Needless to say, I am doing a lot of reading and research and will not have much time to write on this blog.

One of the things that I was researching this morning came about an hour ago from Christianity Today. Apparently Wheaton College is getting ready to unveil a new program geared at the studies of the early church and particularly its roots. The statement that was made that became very interesting, as I am doing research in this area, about how Protestant, Catholic, and Orthodox share a common history and there needs to be a merge of the three to discuss and communicate ideas. The article said that there is a real hunger for roots coming from a lot of students. The program hasn't even started yet and already they have 30 applicants ranging from undergrads to doctorial who have signed up.

This confirms my presupposition with postmoderns. There is a hunger for the ancient. I think that we all desire life that avoids the Modern Era so in our search to reach beyond it, we have started to look behind it which inevitably leads to practices, actions, and thought processes that are pre-modern. I believe that we will start seeing more and more churches finding truth within mystery and sense, which will also lead us to dialoging with our Catholic and Orthodox brothers who have maintained many of their ancient practices. I am excited to see a re-imagining taking place that moves us beyond seeker sensitive and beyond the contemporary model of worship. I hope I have not divulged too much from my book.

Grace and Peace

Habakkuk

My Anguish

I am angered by those who are against me. Why do you put these people in my life? To be really honest, I am ready to be done with learning lessons right now. Everyone always tells me that you bring us through all of this crap to teach us, so already I have these thoughts ingrained in my own. It may be true that you are, but I want to rest. I want to be in a place where peace is practiced. You said that creation is groaning to be set free, but how long does creation have to groan? How long will the wicked succeed? I mean, are you asleep right now or just watching from a distance? Remove the transgressions against your people. You promise to be the provider and sustainer so right now I am asking you to provide rest in my job. I feel the brokenness of creation within the system of 40 hours a week in a job that is sucking the life out of me. Not to forget the global problems of oppressors in sweatshops, pimps in the slums of Thailand, and governments who rape and pillage the people they are sworn to protect. Not even the police or military care about the people but use them for their own power. Is there such a thing as justice? Restore your creation quickly, Sovereign Lord. I don't want to be a part of a broken world any longer. Open my eyes so that I can see your face; open my ears so that I can hear your voice. The only way I will make it is by you so right now I need your hand to sustain and comfort me. I will wait for you to answer me in fear and trembling.

God's Response

2-3And then God answered: "Write this. Write what you see. Write it out in a blog so that it can be read on the run. This vision-message is a witness pointing to what's coming. It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait! And it doesn't lie. If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time.

 4"Look at that man, bloated by self-importance—full of himself but soul-empty. But the person in right standing before God through loyal and steady believing is fully alive, really alive. 5-6"Note well: Money deceives. The arrogant rich don't last. They are more hungry for wealth than the grave is for cadavers. Like death, they always want more, but the 'more' they get is dead bodies. They are cemeteries filled with dead nations, graveyards filled with corpses. Don't give people like this a second thought. Soon the whole world will be taunting them saying: 6-8"'Who do they think they are— getting rich by stealing and extortion? How long do they think they can get away with this?' Indeed, how long before their victims wake up, stand up and make them the victim? They've plundered nation after nation. Now they'll get a taste of their own medicine. All the survivors are out to plunder them, a payback for all their murders and massacres. 9-11"Who do they think they are—recklessly grabbing and looting Living it up, acting like king of the mountain, acting above it all, above trials and troubles? They've engineered the ruin of their own house. In ruining others they've ruined themselves. They've undermined their foundations, rotted out their own soul. The bricks of their house will speak up and accuse them. The woodwork will step forward with evidence. 12-14"Who do they think they are—building a town by murder, a city with crime. Don't they know that God-of-the-Angel-Armies makes sure nothing comes of that but ashes, Makes sure the harder that they work at that kind of thing, the less they are? Meanwhile rest in this Noah, the earth fills up with awareness of God's glory as the waters cover the sea. 15-17"Who do they think they are inviting their neighbors to their drunken parties, Giving them too much to drink, roping them into your sexual orgies? They thought they were having the time of their life. Wrong! It's a time of disgrace. All the time they were drinking, they were drinking from the cup of God's wrath. They'll wake up holding their throbbing head, hung over—hung over from Lebanon violence, Hung over from animal massacres, hung over from murder and mayhem, From multiple violations of place and people. 18-19"What's the use of a carved god so skillfully carved by its sculptor? What good is a fancy cast god when all it tells is lies? What sense does it make to be a pious god-maker who makes gods that can't even talk? Who do they think they are—saying to a stick of wood, 'Wake up,' Or to a dumb stone, 'Get up'? Can they teach you anything about anything? There's nothing to them but surface. There's nothing on the inside. 20"But oh! God is in his holy Temple! Quiet everyone—a holy silence. Listen!"

I Respond

Oh Lord how you love us your children. How great and mighty you are! When you show your mercy upon me, I know that you are there. I am unworthy to be called a child of yours and unworthy to be answered. I have allowed myself to be concerned with my afflictions and forgotten that you were there. My faith is so weak to believe that you didn't care about my job. I assumed that you had forgotten about me your child or that you didn't care. I am in awe of you. I wept when you responded to me. I fall to the earth, trembling and fearful in your presence, but you lifted me up and told me to focus on you. Thank you for restoring me to your side. I trust and rest in you. You are Holy and righteous and your ways are better than my own.

 

The Geography of the Journey

Often times we hear the phrases being uttered like "Wow! That was a mountain top experience." It is interesting how many times, we as humans relate our spiritual experience to creation and vice versa; from mountains to valleys, fruit to trees, roaring seas to calm waters. We tell others about the exhilarating feeling of navigating rapids or hiking mountains to be "Spiritual". And then somehow, there is this feeling that we get when it is a dark rainy day, and not just one day, but several in a row. We get this feeling of a dark cloud being over our souls and keeping us from achieving shalom with God. Is our spirituality deeply rooted to creation in some way?

It seems Jesus knew this. He spoke in parables that often dealt with vines, mustard seeds, moving mountains, sowing seeds, etc. Maybe this was because the culture in his day was agrarian. But was this the only reason he used organic matter to show our connection with Him? I think we miss it sometimes because while we are trying to figure out the deep theological and philosophical issues we lose sight of the Jesus that taught us to pray to our God as a child who cries out for Daddy or to remain in Jesus as a branch to a vine.

I love what Bud McCord said concerning the way we think in the West. He said that often, when a person comes to us and asks to be discipled, we take them to the Christian bookstore and lead them down aisles and aisles of books where we instruct them to read this book or that. But what happens when there is no bookstore and the person who asks to be discipled can't read? Can that person learn? Are we ready to take them to the vineyard to teach them about remaining in the Spirit?

Peter Rollins addresses this problem in Christianity. He says that for too long we have viewed Christianity as something to be studied, divorced from meaning in our lives instead of a life lived embracing Christianity.

So I feel like for awhile now, we have been trying to navigate this journey without color. As if, we are stuck looking at the map instead of seeing what is around us and being able to see the beauty of the journey. I would like to explore this a little more in detail in the next few blogs.

 

Smatterings

Alright so I haven't posted anything lately because of how busy life has been. I have written a few things but am finding it really difficult to finish some of these thoughts. So I decided to compile them and post so they would at least be off my chest. Here they are and there is no order to them.

I feel it all around. Creation is groaning. Our world is broken and the machines are decaying. In a time when it is obvious that we are creating a world that is unsustainable, it is time to be reawakened to dream new dreams and a new economy. But too many have lost hope, and the faith of a mustard seed has been crushed by the weight of fear and doubt. So church, we lost sight of love because of our hate and we hated because we were afraid and our fear was caused because we lacked faith. Did we forget the words of Christ when he asked us to pray for His kingdom on earth as in heaven or did we think that he lied to us? I mean, is it even possible for this world to be at shalom with God? Is it possible for a broken people to see past the war, hate, and poverty and to see them as groans of a world gone astray in the quagmire of deceit? How are we, the church, responding and declaring that there is another way? Is there another way?

It is a necessary process and response to understand that we are to abide in faith, hope, and love. Each one of these is a fundamental element to our journey. Paul gave us this process so that we could be grounded in the good news. A friend of mine said that it is a linear line, faith, hope, and love. In order to have love, we must have hope and before that faith.

****

Yesterday, I confessed to my friend Paul that I struggle with moving beyond myself. I have this problem with trying to think and act smarter than I am or else I shut up because I don't feel that I am anything worthy to contribute to a conversation. The problem is that both actions are fundamentally flawed because the focus remains on me. It is difficult to place my focus on Jesus and push to the life lived in the Spirit.

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The other day I read this passage in John chapter 21.

 Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them, the one who had been reclining at table close to him and had said, "Lord, who is it that is going to betray you?" 21 When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, "Lord, what about this man?" 22 Jesus said to him, "If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!" 23 So the saying spread abroad among the brothers [2] that this disciple was not to die; yet Jesus did not say to him that he was not to die, but, "If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you?"

Sometimes I just get the sense that Peter and I would be great friends. I get him and can relate. So many times my focus isn't on Jesus, but on others. I want to know if people are closer to the heart of God than me. But here we have Jesus saying, "You follow me." This is a calling to us the individual to live lives focused on Christ and not to concern myself with greatness.

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We all have our heroes. On this subject, I am afraid there is not much originality from my perspective. We all seek to follow our heroes, even if it is to our own demise. It amazes me that we are all hardwired to follow someone. Our stories will often encompass people who, at one time or another, led us down a certain path and into a certain journey; rather it is good or bad. With the young college student, he has the professor who inspires within him a desire to seek after the field of study in which the professor would teach more classes. The athlete has that one guy who he admires and looks up to for strength. The musicians have their Yo-yo Ma, John Patrucci, Pavarotti, etc.

Something I am learning though is that when a hero shows his true humanity, it dashes all hope and shatters our world. We don't want to know that these people are broken struggling individuals who in themselves find no satisfaction.

Recently, I watched the documentary "Bigger Stronger Faster" which depicted three brothers who were all involved in either wrestling or body building. One of the themes was the use of steroids amongst professional athletes and how this directly impacts their followers. The documentary showed the historical progression of these athletes coming out with their confessions about steroid use. The middle brother tells about how the three of them use to admire these guys. From Hulk Hogan to Arnold, these three brothers idolized these men. Out of the three brothers, only one of them chose to not take steroids.

What happened? Did their heroes lead them astray or would they have taken steroids anyway if their heroes didn't?

I use to think that I didn't really have any "Heroes". Then I realized that my heroes were not movie stars or musicians, but people that were in close proximity to me. They were usually people who, at least I thought, really cared about me. I remember my first year of college I had a professor who would talk to me personally and invested time conversing with me. He was an actor which naturally led me to pursue acting. After I was in the program, however, the conversations stopped and I was left to figure it out. The image of the hero was marred by humanity.

 

 

 

Good News

Isaiah 61:1-3
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news
to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, ^[a] 2 to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

Before I begin, I feel that it is necessary to state what these verses in Isaiah say over and over again which goes back to the very beginning of these verses; Good news to the poor. In the last several hundred years, the church has made great strides in providing for the "Spiritual" needs of individuals. The church saw that a person's well being is not as important as their spiritual life. To be sure, there have been small pockets of religious groups that have gone beyond and provided for the physical needs as well but they have been the exception not the norm. Large passages in Scripture have been ignored which warn the church of this danger. James says, "What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, 'Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,' but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." What would Jesus say to a generation that spends several million dollars in a building fund, while single moms, the uninsured, and widows are struggling to survive? For too long we have wished the hungry well and have left them hungry.

I have always been made aware of the global issues that are arising around the world. I have been encouraged by some of the organizations that work to make this right. Although we still need to provide for these poor globally, we as the Church need to know the poor in our neighborhoods and communities.

Tuesday nights a group of guys get together for intentional conversations that revolve around our lives as followers of God and the revolution. Philip a friend of mine mentioned that one of the ways in which he is actively participating in expressing love and listening to the Spirit of God is through gift cards. He said that what he does is he goes to the grocery store and buys a few gift cards and prays that he will meet a person to give them to that really needs them. I was amazed.

 

Forgiveness

Father, please help us to love and forgive those who hurt us. Help us to remember that we are to turn the other cheek. Push us to a place where we can actively forgive these people, especially those who claim to know you. It is easier to forgive those people who are at a safe distance where we do not encounter them every day or even every week. But the foundation is decaying underneath our feet because we cannot forgive those who trespass against us. To forgive others is to know your forgiveness. Help us to remember that. Keep us actively pursuing redemption, reconciliation, and jubilee. These three words encompass a theology that is not doctrinal statements about you, but is instead action…a revolution that is raging with love. Help us to remember that you gave us hope and led us to the rivers of forgiveness through your son; who while he was on earth and knew that he would be betrayed by the ones he came to serve, served and loved unconditionally. Help us to remember that we betray you every day and yet your love and forgiveness are always unconditional. Give us the strength to be the first to forgive, the first to love, and the first to pursue reconciliation with our brothers and sisters.

 

 ^1-5 "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.

 

¹²"Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. Add up God's Law and Prophets and this is what you get.

 

Pray, then, in this way:
Our Father who is in heaven,
 Hallowed be Your name. 
Your kingdom come 
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven. 
Give us this day our daily bread. 
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 
And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.

Was it Really that Bad of a Day?

I feel like it is so important to share this story. It is deeply personal and has moved me into a place that I am left with awe at the wonders of God. I have always believed that his Spirit moves but I really never knew how to find it or what His voice sounds like. I am writing this out so that I can come back to it in the future and remember the sound of His voice when I am in the pit of despair.

For those who haven't read my previous blog, I wrote about my despair and low place that I was in on Wednesday. I was uncertain about how and why it was going on but I felt like I needed to crawl in a hole and die. I didn't even want to pray or anything. I wrote a blog to remember God's promises but even while I was writing, I didn't believe it. Thursday morning God started working on my heart and teaching me that I was like Peter who when he kept his eyes focused on Jesus was able to walk on water, but when he looked away and look at the impossible (Or in my case, think that it was by my hands) Peter began to sink. God taught me that I was beginning to take my focus off of Christ. The Spirit moved in me and seemed to ask me, "Are you ready to continue?" and so I said, "I will follow." Yesterday was a new day in which His mercies were renewed.

Back up just a bit; Paul talked to me about some things that were transpiring in his life and particularly the direction that One CC is taking for the future. He told me about the convergence of One CC with other businesses in order to create a community outreach. One of those businesses was a skate shop.

So I was driving home from work yesterday and the car in front of me had a sticker that was huge that said, "Scene 3".  I think I was on the phone with Em at the time and I asked her if Scene 3 was a skate shop and she said it was and she thinks that the owner goes to One CC. I said to her I think that might be the shop that is moving into the new building with One CC. Immediately I felt a prompting, "Call Paul and tell him what I told you and pray with him." Now, I feel like I am sounding a bit Pentecostal as this is unfamiliar territory, but I did what the Spirit asked.

This morning Paul told me that last night he had a meeting and talked about the fact that what we as a church need to do is to focus our attention on Christ like Peter did and he will lead us to do the impossible.  We can't focus on ourselves and how we are weak and can't do it.  It is the Spirit of God that will lead us. He told me that the story I told him was the story that he felt the Spirit telling him to share.

There isn't a huge ending to this story like, "And then money fell from heaven" or "The people all fell to their knees and worshiped God". But here is something that did/does happen. One bad day was taken and used to teach me, Paul, and others. I don't know where the Spirit will move with my story, but I thank God that I listened.

I wonder if that is how the Saints feel. A sense of, "Wait, me sinking into water and taking my eyes of off Christ moved in these people's lives?" I don't know. I do know that I want more experiences like that. The crazy thing is that I have heard these types of stories before and was like, "No biggie it probably was just coincidence or something." It would be easy to dismiss this story to be sure. But I know that the Spirit moved.

Noah S.

Mediocrity

After months of going to the gym, I was in the best shape of my life. I lost a lot of fat and gained a lot of muscle. Every day, I couldn't wait to get to the gym. Sometimes, I would spend several hours every day. A lot of it had to do with stress in my life at the time, then once I started to look better it became about my vanity. After vanity, it became strength. I wanted to push myself to be better.

Then there was this guy. He came into the gym just as much as I did. He lifted twice as much and was completely ripped. People would gather around him and ask him for advice about lifting. It was discouraging to say the least because no matter how hard I pushed myself I could never be that guy.

I love playing guitar. For awhile I thought I was pretty good too. I convinced myself that although there were great guitarists out there who are better than me, I really didn't know them. I was the best in my small group of friends. Then I meet this guy in college who had been playing for a year which was half the time that I had been playing. He was absolutely phenomenal. Everybody knew that he was the best guitarist they knew. I was crushed.

Last night a bunch of guys got together to talk. We all started to mull over some deep theological thoughts and experiences. It was a great time, but somehow I walked away with feelings of inadequacy. These inadequacies were in dealing with my lack of knowledge of God.

It is mediocrity that scares the hell out of me. I don't want to be lukewarm. What often ends up happening to me though is that by not wanting to be mediocre, it turns into ambition which turns into pride. I am too proud to be mediocre and average. I was not meant for middle-management. I was meant to do great things and for people to look to me.

Pride is ugly.

I desperately desire a deep and meaningful relationship with my creator. I want to know him and I want to be near to his voice and follow his spirit. The Rabbi that called me to follow him called me from my mediocrity. I was chosen to follow not because I am great, but because the Rabbi I follow wants the humble, the down trodden, sick, broken, and yes even mediocre. Sometimes I think that because I was chosen, I am great which inevitably leads to pride.

The disciples were mediocre, and yet Jesus wanted them. How beautiful to know that God wants those who are forgotten about. I am not comparing myself to the disciples because that would be an overstatement.

I sat on this blog for a day so that I could revisit it when my attitude was better. Here is the truth. Whenever I take my eyes off of Jesus and begin to look to myself, I will always start to fall. I think about Peter who was able to walk on the water when his focus was on Jesus, but when he looked around he felt his own inadequacy and began to sink. This is true that yesterday I was looking to myself. I took my eyes off of Jesus and the power he has in bringing people together. Not because of me, but because of him.

How about the Jews? If ever there was an ordinary group of people, the Jews were them. Something I have been learning lately about my Jesus is that he loves scandal. I have been reading in Luke and I love the fact that here you have a group of people who were ordinary or living lives of mediocrity. All of a sudden angels appear to people and tell them that the Messiah is on His way. It is scandalous. It is scandalous that a King is a tiny little baby and he is born in a barn where the smell of animal shit was overpowering. It is scandalous that the Messiah defied the religious order and stated crazy teachings like the turning the other cheek and making the least of these the greatest. It is scandalous that God, perfect in every way, was crucified. As Ignatius points out, the nails shouldn't have worked. It is scandalous that the Risen Christ first appeared to an ordinary mediocre woman.

Scandalous

Pagan Christianity part 3 or the Sacred Fellowship of Lost

What does it look like to be the church? Last night Em and I went over to Paul and Karen's house to hang out. The food was amazing and even better was the community felt. One of Paul and Karen's friends, who is also a mutual friend of Em and I, had texted to Karen a prayer need. Right then and there the four of us prayed for her.

Up until this point, the last two blogs have been about Pagan Christianity and my own reflections on church life. Paul was the one who initially introduced me to this book so he is the one to thank/blame for all this stuff going on in my head. We ate, prayed, talked, and then we all watched Lost together. It was an awesome time that we had reflecting and sharing our lives together.

After Em and I got home, I took the dog out for my own time of reflection and prayer (And waiting for the dog to poop). I was thinking and wondering what is the criteria for the label church. That is to say, if the church is intentional community, sharing lives, praying together, and professing our Lord; then did we meet together as church? When does the church stop being the church?

One of the things that Paul and I talked about was the idea of the gathering on Sunday morning as an "Event". What if the event was designed in such a way that it pushed people to be priests every day, looking for churches to be cultivated? If this sounds crazy, I am sorry. I heard it said before that we are all missionaries every day, but I think the truth is that we are all priests every day. If we as priests were to function as church planters, building communities that are intentional upon the foundation of God's love, inviting others to join the conversation, and investing in each other then we truly are a revolution of hope. The amazing thing about this work is that we can virtually start a church anywhere.

I started thinking Last night as Em and I were in bed I had this realization that I will probably remember Pagan Christianity and the content there within more than some of my favorite books simply because I have really had to deal with the content and maul it over.

 

Lessons from Pagan Christianity part 2 or How Noah is a theological bipolar

It really is strange the way we view clergy. I pretty much understood the priesthood of all believers pretty early on in life. I remember hearing in high school youth group that Martin Luther was revolutionary in the fact that he made statements that brought the people up to the level of a priest. This notion obviously caused quite a stir and a lot of hell for Luther.

Since that time however, the church has made great strides in digressing from this position. Many of the evangelical circles that I have been around have held in high esteem the pastor, missionary, and fulltime pastor's wife. Although I believe that these are all worthy callings or vocations, there is no distinction between clergy and the lay person. I really liked that Viola help bring this to light a little more.

The job of the leader of a church is to push for everyone to realize their priesthood and their respective roles in the body of Christ. I think there is definitely better ways to assist in this and perhaps Viola's perspective on organic house churches is the best way. I am not sure.

Please don't get me wrong. I am not a huge fan of large churches. I think that there is a lot lost. But I wonder if the communal aspect of the gathering is fulfilled, for lack of a better word, by small groups. My concern for a mindset that is as extreme as assuming that there is only one type of church model is that it becomes another form of legalism.

Here is the rub. Although my opinion of the church functioning as authentic church looks very different than say an Episcopalian, Eastern Orthodox, R.C., or Presby; it doesn't mean that I am right and they are wrong. I am too aware of my own dogmatism and failures, to be so arrogant to believe that I am right about everything. In this same light, I don't believe that anyone has it all figured out like we would think. It just isn't my bag.

That being said, I would love to be a part of a community in which lives are lived together. My dream for church would be a lot like Viola's idea of organic house church communities. Every voice would have the same power, every action would be done by everyone, and the church would be actively serving together those who are on the fringes of the Empire. This community would laugh a lot and cry; would work together and play; would serve and be served. I am not sure that I really like being a church that gets together once or twice a week; much to the same degree that I don't like it when I have to spend huge amounts of time away from my wife. But using the analogy of a marriage, there is no right model in which to be married. Some couples spend a lot of time away from each other and others spend 24 hours a day.

So what is the responsibility of a pastor or church leader? Again, I believe it is about teaching others to lead and giving away all power and responsibility. I think that the pastor's job is to push for others to be church.

Sometimes I almost want to laugh when I go back and read what I just wrote. I laugh because I think to myself that three years ago I wrote out my beliefs. I am sure that if I could find this, "Treasure" that it would be laughable. History, things I have learned, and obviously following the Spirit has led me to become a different person. I know that the same will also be true of this blog. A year from now I will look back and think, "Man! I was so far off." But this is the nature of the journey. I hope and pray that this will happen all my life.

Lessons from Pagan Christianity part 1

As I said in the previous post, I am reading Pagan Christianity right now. The general premise of this book is to show the history of many of the practices that we are doing today and how many of them are not founded in Scripture or the New Testament church at all.

Keep in mind that I have only read about three chapters so far, but it is very provocative and has sparked a lot of imagination. Grant it, I haven't agreed with it completely. I think that because I am more generously orthodox, my beliefs on church form and structure is way more open. If that doesn't make any sense I apologize. Hopefully it will.

Frank Viola has already made his intention clear in pointing out that a church community needs to be an organic church that realizes a church is people not a building. He demonstrates that the early church was a community that met in homes. He believes that this is the correct way in which a church should function. Viola states that the church has become more concerned with emotions and feelings in worship.

This is only up until chapter three.

While some of what he says I read and have to keep myself from giving a hearty southern Baptist, "Amen!" other parts I am left with feelings of anger and frustration. So I have decided to write a blog about my beliefs on the issues that he has covered thus far, in an attempt to sort it all out in my own mind.

The Church

Like Viola, I agree that church is not and should not be defined as a building. A church is a group of people who follow and practice Christ teachings. When the church fails to follow and practice Christ teachings, the church ceases to be the church. In its simplest form church is without walls and maintains its "Churchiness" when Christ is the center of a group of individuals.

While I maintain that I have my own personal journey, I am not church alone. I think one of the problems with the Post-Enlightenment, is the idea of individuality which did not leave the church unscathed. Many believe that the faith journey is more individual and less communal. This is simply not the case. We as the followers of Christ need to live lives where community is vital and necessary to our faith journey.

The Building

The building or structure that a church meets in speaks volumes as to the beliefs of the church. Again, I agree with Viola. Rather a church has metal chairs, pews, or couches; sits in a round, semi-circle, or rows; has natural lighting, florescent lighting, or dimly lit candles: all of these states a theology. But is there a wrong way of communicating with structure in worship? I mean, wouldn't the apostles or Christ himself addressed this if there was a wrong way to communicate our beliefs in our space of gathering? I would believe that the only wrong way is to not think about how we use our space to worship.

The important thing here is for the church to find ways in which to be creative with their environment when speaking of the attributes of God. What I mean to say is this, if a church is taking a season in thinking about the mysteries of God, perhaps it would be a good idea to use candles to keep from illuminating an entire room with light. The reverse of this is also true when demonstrating that God is the illuminator of truth that a church would use a large amount of light.

 

 

Judas

Recently I got a few books for my spring reading list which included Peter Rollins' Fidelity of Betrayal and Viola's Pagan Christianity. At first, I started to read Rollins and to be really honest I got so pissed off that I nearly threw the book across the room. Instead of doing that I thought that maybe I would take some time and read the next chapter. I was just hoping that it would get better. It didn't and this time I was at Starbucks so throwing the book across the room meant hitting the trendy guy who was on his Mac complete with vest, white headphones, and dark thick rim glasses (I know I know…) So instead of throwing the book, I decided that I would read it like I would read a book by Dawkins.

What started to happen though is I realized that I was being hit with a lot of things that I had never heard before and that I really needed to consider. It is always good to have a conversation partner in times like these. I feel very fortunate that mine happens to be my wife. It is always weird when I neglect to share thoughts that I am having, how my attitude shifts towards the selfish jerk. Anyway, so some thoughts.

Judas

At the very mention of this guy's name, my stomach turns. It is amazing how for so many years I had demonized him and thought that he was anti-Christ. Rollins first chapter in his book deals with this head on and ask questions that I am still dealing with in my mind. Money quote, "One should wonder if Judas didn't kill himself, what it would have looked like for Judas to encounter Jesus after His resurrection."

I asked Emily this same question. Her response was that it probably would have been a beautiful encounter of forgiveness and restoration. I didn't realize that there was so much controversy surrounding Judas. Really, I just thought of him as the betrayer of Jesus and considered him evil. There is a lot of speculation though on his motives and his actions and some of the most interesting of speculations come from many of the early church fathers particularly Origen, St. Augustine, Ignatius, etc. Throughout church history many theologians had differing views on Judas among these were people like Calvin and Aquinas. These views look very different.

So before anyone reads this and thinks that I am somehow straying into the realms of heresy, please know that I am still thinking through all of this and there are a host of other theologians that were aforementioned that have said or considered similar thoughts.

It is interesting to think that Judas was in God's divine plan and that Christ himself knew that he would betray him and yet did nothing to stop him. Most of the Sunday school lessons I learned early on said that Jesus knew that because he was God, and he knew that he needed to be crucified. I heard that Judas went to hell. I am not exactly sure where this comes from. Since Judas was in the Divine plan of Christ, was Judas doing the will of God?

Jesus, at the crucifixion prays to God and asks them, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do." Does this prayer include Judas? How does that forgiveness play itself out?

I find it really interesting that after Judas receives the 30 pieces of silver and after Jesus is arrested, Judas goes and returns the money. I wonder if this is a repentant heart. Judas obviously is so distraught over the arrest of Jesus that he kills himself. There was obviously a love that Judas had for Jesus on some level.

Peter Rollins offers a question that I do not see any historical precedent, other than a Scorcesy film and a Gnostic Gospel, that is what if Jesus met with Judas privately and asked him to betray him? Again, please don't throw any stones my way. I am really just thinking out loud.

Thoughts?

A Day in History

Today is a pretty huge day for this country. I remember when the votes were tallied and came in how the jubilation went out from the African American crowd. It was amazing to see the faces of people who had experienced Rosa Parks, integration, and racial injustices now be able to see hope for a future and that the walls of discrimination of race are starting to crumble.

Although I do not consider myself patriotic or define myself as an American primarily, I am in a sense proud of this country for making race a non issue in this election. To be sure, it was brought up enough and I am sure some people voted based off of race but I think this was a small group of people who allowed race to enter their minds when voting. I loved what Cornel West said about the future African American generation being able to grow up knowing that it is possible to be president.

No matter who you voted for or didn't or even if you voted at all, I think we all can at least pray for Obama and that he will do what is right. I pray for him and his family for humility, which I believe is what this country and specifically this nation needs. It is time for this country to realize that our standard and self proclaimed, "Greatest nation on earth" status is flawed and bankrupt. I am praying that Obama and his advisors figure out that there is no such thing as righteous war and that they will seek peace and diplomacy above all. I pray for this nation that if Obama becomes the greatest president in history that we will understand that he is a man and that Jesus is Lord and the President isn't.

Recently I had a conversation with Paul. We were talking about politics and the economy and all that jazz. Out of that conversation came the birth of an idea that we both shared. What if this economy collapses and gas prices rise and we can no longer afford all the toys, gadgets, or SUVs that we use to? What if all the smoke and mirrors of prosperity shattered into a thousand pieces and we no longer had dreams and hopes for riches? What if the noises of the busy city streets, the sounds of MP3 players, and the hum of electricity all stopped and instead we heard the still small voice of the Creator calling, "My way is perfect and my burden is light."?

So in a way, I am torn. On one hand, I really would like if America's economy would boom but on the other hand I see that we have filled our hearts with the pleasures of riches and have exploited hundreds of thousands of people in the process. So in a way, I pray for the downfall of this type of economy. I pray that things do collapse and in the process we are able to hear the voice of the Creator God. I am not sure that Christ was joking when he said that it is easier to fit a camel through the eye of a needle than for the rich to inherit the kingdom of God. I use to think that he was talking about the rich upper class in this country but actually that is all of us who have jobs and are making minimum wage in this country. We need to repent.

I hear God's economy is pretty stable. Maybe we should give it a shot. Of course, that means the reversal of all things and that I may be the lowest on the totem pole, but I am pretty sure that the lowest in God's kingdom is better off than the richest in the USA. What would it look like if Jesus was sworn into office today?

God Bless Gaza

As news reports have been coming in the last several days about news in the Middle East, I can't help but to get angry at Israel. There are no two ways about this, Israel is wrong and is acting unjustly. Since 1948 America has sought to protect this country and the people and has promised to be her ally. This has not been without great expense and the price that we have paid has been the alienation of other nations and countries. We have given Israel the ability to bully neighboring countries and have rarely if ever told them as much. I can't help but to feel that this maybe because of the church if only in a small part.

The church has believed that Israel is God's chosen people; but chosen wasn't God's way of saying they are better. God was calling this people to bring God's Kingdom to earth. It was instructed by God that these people were to be called out and separate from the rest of the world; treating each other, neighbors, and enemies with love and compassion. God was providing a way in which all people could see that there was a better way to live. Remember back when Israel didn't have a king that the Jewish people cried out and complained that they wanted a king. They rejected this better way for living and chose to be like other nations. This pattern has been going on since the Garden and extends to the injustices today.

So God acts and as such He brings the Messiah in to save the world. Israel wanted to be like all the other nations and now they are. Israel will receive the same blessing as all the other nations, which is that we all will bow before the throne of God and worship. We are missing so much rich theology to think that Israel is a better nation and people than any other. I think that this type of thinking is without a doubt done more damage than anything. After all, I am pretty sure that the Messiah is the only one who deserves the exaltation and to think that God would want us to be ok with actions that fly in the face of His kingdom is ludicrous. Jesus says to love our enemies and if we kill them or allow killing without standing against it, we are defying the Messiah. It is that simple.

I don't really understand the thought process that it is not ok for Islamic Terrorist to attack civilians, but it is ok if our allies do. Maybe it is because we don't really want to call somebody on something that we ourselves are guilty for. I don't know. It is getting messy though and as a citizen of God's Kingdom it is time to say that this is not my Jesus. I haven't heard too much lately by the church in regards to this senseless act of terrorism brought on by Israel, but I am sure that there are those pastors and lay people who believe that Israel is acting justly. I have heard those arguments before. When Israel kills someone it is wrong. When America kills someone it is wrong. When people in Gaza kill an Israeli soldier, it is wrong.

I have heard it said that the opposite of hate is not love but apathy. Is there any more apathetic response than to allow this to continue without responding and if we as the church are apathetic are we as a church ceasing to be the church?

Throughout Scripture we see and understand the God hears the cries of the oppressed. Right now, Gaza is being oppressed and so are several other nations and people being oppressed by America. Church it is time to stand up and act.