Smatterings

Alright so I haven't posted anything lately because of how busy life has been. I have written a few things but am finding it really difficult to finish some of these thoughts. So I decided to compile them and post so they would at least be off my chest. Here they are and there is no order to them.

I feel it all around. Creation is groaning. Our world is broken and the machines are decaying. In a time when it is obvious that we are creating a world that is unsustainable, it is time to be reawakened to dream new dreams and a new economy. But too many have lost hope, and the faith of a mustard seed has been crushed by the weight of fear and doubt. So church, we lost sight of love because of our hate and we hated because we were afraid and our fear was caused because we lacked faith. Did we forget the words of Christ when he asked us to pray for His kingdom on earth as in heaven or did we think that he lied to us? I mean, is it even possible for this world to be at shalom with God? Is it possible for a broken people to see past the war, hate, and poverty and to see them as groans of a world gone astray in the quagmire of deceit? How are we, the church, responding and declaring that there is another way? Is there another way?

It is a necessary process and response to understand that we are to abide in faith, hope, and love. Each one of these is a fundamental element to our journey. Paul gave us this process so that we could be grounded in the good news. A friend of mine said that it is a linear line, faith, hope, and love. In order to have love, we must have hope and before that faith.

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Yesterday, I confessed to my friend Paul that I struggle with moving beyond myself. I have this problem with trying to think and act smarter than I am or else I shut up because I don't feel that I am anything worthy to contribute to a conversation. The problem is that both actions are fundamentally flawed because the focus remains on me. It is difficult to place my focus on Jesus and push to the life lived in the Spirit.

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The other day I read this passage in John chapter 21.

 Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them, the one who had been reclining at table close to him and had said, "Lord, who is it that is going to betray you?" 21 When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, "Lord, what about this man?" 22 Jesus said to him, "If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!" 23 So the saying spread abroad among the brothers [2] that this disciple was not to die; yet Jesus did not say to him that he was not to die, but, "If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you?"

Sometimes I just get the sense that Peter and I would be great friends. I get him and can relate. So many times my focus isn't on Jesus, but on others. I want to know if people are closer to the heart of God than me. But here we have Jesus saying, "You follow me." This is a calling to us the individual to live lives focused on Christ and not to concern myself with greatness.

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We all have our heroes. On this subject, I am afraid there is not much originality from my perspective. We all seek to follow our heroes, even if it is to our own demise. It amazes me that we are all hardwired to follow someone. Our stories will often encompass people who, at one time or another, led us down a certain path and into a certain journey; rather it is good or bad. With the young college student, he has the professor who inspires within him a desire to seek after the field of study in which the professor would teach more classes. The athlete has that one guy who he admires and looks up to for strength. The musicians have their Yo-yo Ma, John Patrucci, Pavarotti, etc.

Something I am learning though is that when a hero shows his true humanity, it dashes all hope and shatters our world. We don't want to know that these people are broken struggling individuals who in themselves find no satisfaction.

Recently, I watched the documentary "Bigger Stronger Faster" which depicted three brothers who were all involved in either wrestling or body building. One of the themes was the use of steroids amongst professional athletes and how this directly impacts their followers. The documentary showed the historical progression of these athletes coming out with their confessions about steroid use. The middle brother tells about how the three of them use to admire these guys. From Hulk Hogan to Arnold, these three brothers idolized these men. Out of the three brothers, only one of them chose to not take steroids.

What happened? Did their heroes lead them astray or would they have taken steroids anyway if their heroes didn't?

I use to think that I didn't really have any "Heroes". Then I realized that my heroes were not movie stars or musicians, but people that were in close proximity to me. They were usually people who, at least I thought, really cared about me. I remember my first year of college I had a professor who would talk to me personally and invested time conversing with me. He was an actor which naturally led me to pursue acting. After I was in the program, however, the conversations stopped and I was left to figure it out. The image of the hero was marred by humanity.