The anomaly of the T-shirt

Once upon a time there was the t-shirt. It was a pretty simple thing, really. Made of cotton in different colors and you could wear it whenever. They often were to be worn in the summer. The t-shirt was often juxtaposed to the sweatshirt. Both of which share a symbiotic relationship in that they are appropriate for the given season and temperature. Oh how I loved those spring shopping experiences of buying new t-shirts. The other day I thought to myself that I would thoroughly enjoy having another spring shopping experience as in yesteryear. I thought to myself that it would be great to come away from this experience with two or three t-shirts with which I could wear all season long. It didn't take me too long to realize that each t-shirt that I looked at could be categorized in sections given their brand or logo as thus fallows:

Skater: This t-shirt could also be marked "Hey! I am 15". Although most individuals may where this t-shirt who are not 15, they will often times play the part. In a recent study 96% of people who wear these t-shirts are kids who do not "Skate". To be sure, they probably own a videogame that bares the title, "Tony Hawk's Extreme...something or other." These kids may take it one step farther and watch a TV show that exonerates the professional skateboarder as a very original funny guy who makes his living off tomfoolery and skating. Often, these t-shirts have skulls, skateboards, and something glorifying the 80s.

Clever Sayings: Really? A saying is funny in context, but not to be gallivanted around town plastered on your chest. Take for example, "I do all my own stunts." This could be funny if a friend trips on himself and gets up and says this. However, if this same friend was to wear a t-shirt that says this, it becomes annoying and arbitrary. Department stores are the worst for having huge stock piles in the back aisle marked, "50% off" and for good reason.

Abstract: Don't get me wrong. Most of the time I like the more abstract t-shirts however, the problem with these are several fold. When they first came out, I noticed that it was now the "cool thing" to be individualized and not have a conventional t-shirt. Very postmodern indeed. The more defying of convention the better. An example of this t-shirt would be one that had colors and swirls with an object like a gun with flowers coming out of the barrel and maybe some random words like, "Blue is to be for all to see that nothing can disturb her peace." The saying would only make sense if you were high. Sizes vary from Small, extra small, and girl.

Name brand or logo: This t-shirt not only functions as clothing, but it is also a walking advertisement. Not only are you a subscriber to the given product, but also you are proud of it. I like ham sandwiches but I don't wear a shirt that says this….it kind of makes me want one though…

Christian: Isn't it amazing that we now can alienate ourselves from the world even further? I mean really, now I don't have to buy secular t-shirts that promote anything but being a Christian. I just wish I could get Christian meat that wasn't offered to idols…oh wait.

So I walked away from shopping exhausted and without t-shirts. This comes with the territory of being cynical. I think I might change my way of thinking and just wear FUBU size XXXXL.

Scott McKnight on D.A. Carson’s Book

'By narrowing "emerging" to postmodernity and narrowing postmodernity to denial of truth, Carson has foisted upon the evangelical world a stereotype that most evangelicals are already prepared to reject. In other words, if you define emerging as Brian McLaren, and then narrow Brian to his sometimes incautious – even if nearly always probing and suggestive – comments about postmodernity and epistemology, and then roll out the implications of what Brian would seem then to believe, and then close with two chapters about what the Bible says about truth, you will give the impression that emerging is about hard postmodernism and, if you got your guts about you, you should avoid these folks like the bubonic plague. Which is what some are doing... which is fine ... unless you want to be accurate.

Snickers

I just finished the most disgusting protein bar in the world. This last Saturday, Emily and I went to Penera to eat. She was meeting a friend to go shopping and I told her that I wanted to go to the Vitamin Shoppe, EB Games, and Life Way Christian Bookstore. She replied, "Really?!?!" Kind of offended I retorted rather emphatically, "Yes!" and continued to explain myself saying, "I would like to find something for a meal replacement at the Vitamin Shoppe and look at videogames that are coming out. Also sense I am here, I would like to look at Life Way for a book I have wanted to read." I think she was still confused because none of these activities are very typical of me. Just in case I didn't want to do any of these things, I brought along NT Wright to keep me company whilst I drank my coffee. So the time came for her to leave me off at the shopping complex. I have to say, I had a flash back to life when I was at the prepubescent stage of adolescence feeling much like a kid does when his mom drops him off. Any way, I sat and drank my coffee reading a chapter of Paul in Fresh Perspective. After this, I went to the Vitamin Shoppe to buy things I didn't need. I was greeted by one of the "Helpful" workers that advised me to buy protein bars and vitamins that I didn't need. He told me how, "This is going to be great for you because it has ribosomes and electrodentine." He was so enthusiastic that I believed him. If it wasn't for the fact that he added in "This protein bar tastes just like a Snicker's bar" I don't think I would have gotten three of them…but I did. I planned out that I was going to eat one of these "Snicker's" bars at three o'clock on Monday. Yesterday it was 2:53 and I could already taste the sweet deliciousness that comes with the experiential moment that embodies a Snickers. The delectable chocolate covered…whatever it is. 3:00 a grabbed the bar, opened up the wrapper, and took a huge bite. At first, I thought to myself "Hmm this is different". That was the last thing I thought before gagging. Probably the most disgusting "Snicker's" bar I had ever tasted. Sure, "Taste just like a Snicker's bar" if it had stayed out in the sun for 5 years, picked up and thrown in the freezer for another 14 years, then buried in dog food and finally eaten…maybe then it would have tasted like what was in my mouth. Today, I had the second of the three "Snicker's" bars. One more to go…one more to go.